When to let go and when to hold on...

Today is a topsy-turvy day for me.  I feel torn in several ways. 

My baby passed her drivers text Wednesday and drove her own car to school by her own self today!  Aaaauuuugggghhhh!  It's so HARD to let go and let them grow up.  Evidently I have trust and faith issues!  :)  I'm going to have to leave my faith in HIM to keep her safe and sound.  I don't remember it being this hard with my 2 older children.  Is this the beginning of "empty nest" syndrome?  Seeing the last child take the last steps toward adulthood?  I'm not so sure I'm ready for that yet.  God's got His work cut out for Him, getting me ready to face that part of my future.

In other news, Colby has called off the wedding.  I'm not sure if it's temporary or not.  We're gonna leave that in God's hands, also.  He is under a massive amount of pressure in his personal life with his family.  His mother was diagnosed in the early stages of Alzheimer's a couple of weeks ago.  Yesterday they found a brain tumor.  They are going to run an MRI on her and hopefully we will know more soon.  She is so young - late 50's - for this to happen.  Please keep her in your prayers!  And Colby.  Pray that we can convince them to go to MD Andersen, malignant or not.  We serve an AWESOME GOD who can do anything.  He is our creator, our savior, our friend, our healer, our comforter, our heavenly father.  He knows our every need before the need exists.  We don't know what the future holds, but we know WHO holds the future.  That is where I'm going to place my trust and faith that He will work all of this out for our good.

Ryan has moved back home...well, he's living on his own, but he is back in Nederland, TX!  I'm glad.  Hopefully God will continue to stir him and convict him to re-dedicate his life to Him.  He has a new job and is beginning to pull himself up from the financial trauma he has been through at the hands of his former employer.  He, too, needs everyone's prayers.

Kirstyn is doing as well as can be expected.  She took it hard when Colby called off the wedding, but she is trying to be strong and putting her faith in God.  She has grown so much in her faith.  I am so proud of her.  She is also trying to be there for Colby as a friend, when he needs someone to talk to and confide in about his family situation.  That takes an enormous amount of strength and courage.  She's going to be such a great Mom and Wife someday! 

There are so many other situations and people suffering...I wonder how people survive without God and a good, solid core of church family to pull them through!  It's such a relief to be able to call, email or text my church family and ask them to pray and sit back and watch their immediate response and concern.  They truly exhibit the love of Christ, the love of the Holy Ghost.  Such a priviledge to serve an awesome God!  He makes this life worth living.

Love you all!

K.  Bye now!

Kirstyn

Happy Belated Birthday to my first born child, my oldest daughter, Kirstyn Gayle Barrick.  On September 11, 2012 you turned 22 years old!  You made me the happiest woman on earth when you were born and I became a mom!  You were a gift to me straight from God and I am so thankful for you.

Never in my wildest imagination could I have dreamed of the woman you would become!  You are such a unique individual.  :)  You are the daughter who has tested me until I was at my wit's end and when I thought all hope was lost, you actually listened to what I had to say, your pastor had to say, and what God was trying to tell you - and applied it to your life and made yourself a better person for it!

You are the daughter who will drop everything you are doing to take me to the doctor when I am sick, only to take pictures of me at my lowest and post them on Instagram!  You are the daughter who will clean the house to a T when you want to have a party or friends over, only to fight with Malissia about who's turn it is to take out the trash or close the garage door!

You are the daughter who always wants to include me in your plans to go out to eat with all of your friends, but only because Colby isn't going and you need someone to pay for your meal!  :)  Bwahahaha!  (You didn't think I figured all that out, did you?)

You always sound so sad when you hear about me and the girls at work going out to eat because we "left you out" even though you don't work with me and have your own friends to go out with. 

You are a mess!  A complete, total mess and I love you for it! 

You see no age limits between yourself and others - everyone is a potential best friend.  You love them ALL!  The children, the teenagers, the parents of all your friends, and the elderly.  No one is excluded from your circle!  You are who you are.  No show, no false image, no "putting on a good face" for company - just plain old Kirstyn. 

You are always the life of the party, always have a smile to share, a joke to crack, or someone to make fun of.  Again - you are no respecter of persons - you feel free to make fun of everyone, friend or foe, acquaintance or stranger - no matter.  Everyone is subject to your opinions - including yourself.  You do not get offended easily and are always quick to forgive and extend the olive branch.  You never hesitate to apologize when you realize you have been wrong, and never hesitate to accept apologies from others when they have hurt you.

You will soon graduate from college and I know you will be the best special education teacher in the world - because you are "special" yourself!  :)  Whether you choose to work with the young children in pre-school or the high-school crowd, they will all be blessed because you were in their life!

In 6 short months you will become Mrs. Colby Howell.  But I will not be losing you - I will be gaining a son-in-law.  Daniel and Anita are in for a BIG surprise when they take you into their family.  I am sure that you will bring much joy and laughter to their family!  In a few short years God will bless you both with darling, fat, blonde, dimpled babies - and I will be blessed to be their grandma!  I can't wait to see what the future holds for you, the path God has chosen for you.  I pray that you always follow after and seek His will.

I love you for ever, always, my baby you'll be! 

Love, Mom

K.  Bye now!